The purpose of my journey

Something I read in Erin's blog gave me some food for thought. (Erin is another healthy-eating-blogger I found through my friend Meg - thanks, Meg!) Erin's blog can be found here: http://www.walkinthisworld.com/ Anyway, she said something in yesterday's post about how if her thighs stayed the same size, the world would keep turning. (and other things, but that's the gist) That started me thinking about my motivation behind losing weight.

I'm not trying to lose weight because I don't think fat women can be beautiful. I mean, I actually think that I'm sorta pretty, in an earthy kind of way. I know there are PLENTY of beautiful overweight women out there. Even my husband thinks so. And while the notion of finally being able to shop in any clothing store I want to (not just Fashion Bug or Lane Bryant or Catherines) appeals to me, my primary motivation for losing weight is to be healthy. My goal weight is 175 lbs (even though Weight Watchers says I should weigh 135 - 150 - hello anorexia!), so even when I get to my goal, I won't be "thin". I thoroughly enjoy being a woman, and think women look best in general with some curves.

Right now though, I'm morbidly obese. Last June 16th, the day Frank & I started Weight Watchers, I weighed 324 lbs, and he weighed 317 lbs. If we hadn't made some changes, who knows what would have happened to us. My blood pressure was going up (consistently), so my doctor was growing concerned. (she told me that if I kept going on my previous path, and didn't make any changes, I'd need to be put on blood pressure medication) I have arthritis and bursitis in my knees and a bunion in my left foot from carrying around all this excess weight for 22 years. (I was obese by the time I was 19 & just kept gaining - I'm 41 now) I have fibromyalgia. Not caused by my weight certainly, but my weight exacerbates the pain when I have a flare-up. I also have sleep apnea. (this is caused by my weight and the condition has been linked to serious heart related problems) And with every fasting glucose test (I've had several), my numbers kept creeping closer and closer to diabetic levels. I was also getting strong heart palpitations fairly frequently. In other words, I was a walking time bomb. And I would have exploded eventually.

Now, a little over a year after starting Weight Watchers, I'm down to 260 lbs. (Frank is down to 214 lbs) My blood pressure is down to normal levels. The arthritis in my knees doesn't bother me nearly as badly as it used to - I'm even able to exercise! The bursitis still flares up, painfully, when it rains or when it snows a lot, but most of the time I can be on my feet for hours before I even feel a twinge in my knees or in my foot. The pain isn't as bad as it used to be when I have a fibro-flare-up. I'm no longer in danger of developing diabetes, and I rarely get palpitations now. And if I do get one, it's very mild.

I'm not completely out of the woods yet I know, but the changes I've made have already made a big difference. It's worth repeating that I honestly think there are some absolutely beautiful fat women out there. And like I said, I DO love my curves - I never want to be "skinny". But I DO want to be healthy. And like it or not, being fat is like playing Russian roulette with my health. I may be lucky today and tomorrow and next week and next month, but after carrying around so much excess weight year after year, the older I'm getting, the more health problems I'm encountering. I have been morbidly obese for my ENTIRE adult life. My body started crying 'uncle' after awhile though and began to break down on me. Taking my health seriously and radically changing my lifestyle (daily making healthier food choices - sticking to the Weight Watchers program - and exercising regularly) is something I really wish I'd done years ago - BEFORE my body started rebelling, making any exercise, even something as simple as walking, horrendously difficult & painful.

Still - better late than never, right? :)